The Son 03
©1989 Craig Ashby
4.25″ x 8″
Pen and Ink

The Son by Rochelle Ratner

Since at home I had never seen her
take a bath or shower
I laughed to think
maybe she’s washing there.

The Son 03 is quite American Horror Story in ball point pen. Maybe it is even as bad as the show itself. You can be the judge.

Recently I have had several friends ask my opinion of the current season. I always jokingly call it American Horror Story Lady Gaga Hotel. All because of the stupidly sensational preseason teasers.

Back to how I feel about this season. Let me preface it by saying that last season made me give up. The thought of a Lady Gaga spectacle left me numb but I watch out of the corner of my eye while Ernie is watching.

It saddens me most that the music is so great. Sisters of Mercy. Siouxsie. The Jesus and Mary Chain. To see Lady Gaga writhing around as Catherine Deneuve to such musical legends is horrible. I have said it before, dresses like Bjork sounds like Xtina.

Overall the whole show is so transparently synthetic. As if it is created via dolphins from an old South Park episode. It is just so much cobbling and Frankenstein’s monster in the worst way.

Keeping this in mind let me offer next season’s treatment. I would call it American Horror Story Demi Lovato The Woods.

It would use lots of shoe gaze and industrial. Demi Lovato prancing about to Cocteau Twins and Throbbing Gristle. Deaths happening to Skinny Puppy and My Bloody Valentine.

Then I just need to pick four films to create the synthesis. The Wicker Man, The Village, The Blair Witch Project and maybe Evil Dead 2.

Sounds great right? No it’s fucking awful and neither Gaga or Lovato have a right to do anything to that music.