Balazs Cow
©2012 Craig Ashby
Digital Photograph

Balazs Cow is a cow giving me the look. That look like it knows me. It’s modeling head to toe in this picture.

This was a strange trip with coworkers up to Andre Balazs’ country estate in upstate New York. A strange but memorable day. I remember chunks of it.

Mainly I remember my own isolation. Alex was equally isolated and sad. I remember feeling outside everything and very distant from my coworkers.

Reflecting on it now, I have to say I still feel the same way. Even though the crew is completely different and it’s a different job. I have grown older and familiarity is no longer a substitute for family and friendship.

I don’t know when that changed exactly. Maybe when my youthful naïveté died. Maybe as I started to grow more and more resentful of job land. Maybe when I realized most people are full of shit.